3 years is a long time...3 years is no time at all...3 years is a long time.  I can't decide.  It seems distant sometimes. But more often it seems like yesterday, when sweet, little Connor left this earth.  I  miss him so much.  And I love him forever and ever. 

     The first time I went to the grocery store after Connor, a man said to me, "Smile, it can't be that bad."

     Last Sunday someone said to me, "Smile, it won't hurt."

     It is that bad and it does hurt.  And I resent people who think otherwise.  

     And I resent people who think I have exceeded my hurt time limit.

And I resent people who think I should do it their way.  Which is so much better than mine and since they know my inner most thoughts and feelings they, of course, are right.

     And I appreciate people who hug me and support me. 

    And I appreciate people who get it.  And I know to get it, you have lived it.

And I wish I didn't get it.

 And most of all, I love you Connor.